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The Schmooze

A PSA from Larry David: Stay inside, watch TV, don’t be an idiot

Don’t think I haven’t wondered how Larry David was faring in the current COVID-19 crisis. The answer, it turns out is pretty, pretty good all things considered. But, like many older people, he wants to keep it that way.

Last night we received a much-needed update from the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star, who, like most Californians, has been under a stay-at-home order since March 19.

“I basically want to address the idiots there,” David said in a short clip posted by Governor Gavin Newsom’s office. “I don’t know what you’re doing — you’re going out; you’re socializing too close; it’s not good. You’re hurting old people like me.”

Naturally, this is a message for those who have been taking the pandemic lightly. But, David is equally concerned with what those venturing outside are missing out on.

“The problem is you’re passing up a fantastic opportunity — a once in a lifetime opportunity — to stay in the house, sit on the couch and watch TV,” David said. “I don’t know how you’re passing that up? Well… maybe because you’re not that bright.”

Leave it to David to find a silver-lining to statewide quarantine.

“If you’ve seen my show, you know nothing good ever happens going out of the house, you know that, there’s just trouble out there,” David said, sparking a moment of clarity for me. What is “Curb Your Enthusiasm” if not the 10 season quest of one man attempting to socially distance himself from everyone in his life?

Anyway, take Larry’s advice. Just be sure, as you shelter in place with the TV, you don’t care more about your TiVo than the welfare of your spouse.

PJ Grisar is the Forward’s culture fellow. He can be reached at




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