Jewish Questions Arise in Beijing

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published August 15, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

Oh, who will light symbolic flames
At China’s great Olympic games?
Perhaps officials will employ
A conflagrative Shabbos goy?

Will mameloshn be among
The languages of print and tongue?
Yes, yenta is a Yiddish word,
So “Ori-yent-ed” may be heard.
(Or would the use of mameloshn
Simply lead to more Confucian?) If garrulous, a winning jock Perhaps a tshaynik he would hock?

Why isn’t there, in old Beijing,
A contest: speed of davening?
Hadassah gals might show up strong
In competitions of mahjongg.

Among the many foods they stock,
Should medals go to most geshmak?
A Jewish dish might we behold
That merits silver, bronze or gold?
The arbiters could we cajole
To laud the bagel (and its hole)?
The food that boasts a Yiddish tam,
The Chinese could brand “Peiping Tom.”
Award tea-drinkers with a wreath
If sugar-lumps they hold in-teeth.
It’s chicken versus won-ton soup:
A triumph for which ethnic group?
Some tsimmes would be very nice,
With grains of (Condoleezza?) rice.

Could UJA, or even ORT,
With rivalry indulge in sport?
Which one, in an imbroglio,
Would laurels win in raising dough?
(This area, in which they vie,
Is more germane than vaulting high!)

Perplexing problems Yidn bring
To states assembled in Beijing.
Libidos, egos, also ids
Prevail among OlympiYids!


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • “I don’t want to say, ‘Oh oh, I’m not Jewish,’ because when you say that, you sound like someone trying to get into a 1950s country club, “and I love the idea of being Jewish." Are you a fan of Seth Meyers?
  • "If you want my advice: more Palestinians, more checkpoints, just more reality." What do you think?
  • Happy birthday Barbra Streisand! Our favorite Funny Girl turns 72 today.
  • Clueless parenting advice from the star of "Clueless."
  • Why won't the city give an answer?
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.