Jewish Questions Arise in Beijing

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published August 15, 2008.
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Oh, who will light symbolic flames
At China’s great Olympic games?
Perhaps officials will employ
A conflagrative Shabbos goy?

Will mameloshn be among
The languages of print and tongue?
Yes, yenta is a Yiddish word,
So “Ori-yent-ed” may be heard.
(Or would the use of mameloshn
Simply lead to more Confucian?) If garrulous, a winning jock Perhaps a tshaynik he would hock?

Why isn’t there, in old Beijing,
A contest: speed of davening?
Hadassah gals might show up strong
In competitions of mahjongg.

Among the many foods they stock,
Should medals go to most geshmak?
A Jewish dish might we behold
That merits silver, bronze or gold?
The arbiters could we cajole
To laud the bagel (and its hole)?
The food that boasts a Yiddish tam,
The Chinese could brand “Peiping Tom.”
Award tea-drinkers with a wreath
If sugar-lumps they hold in-teeth.
It’s chicken versus won-ton soup:
A triumph for which ethnic group?
Some tsimmes would be very nice,
With grains of (Condoleezza?) rice.

Could UJA, or even ORT,
With rivalry indulge in sport?
Which one, in an imbroglio,
Would laurels win in raising dough?
(This area, in which they vie,
Is more germane than vaulting high!)

Perplexing problems Yidn bring
To states assembled in Beijing.
Libidos, egos, also ids
Prevail among OlympiYids!


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