NEWS ITEM: Straphangers in the New York City subway system are faced with the prospect of having nowhere to sit. The Metropolitan Transportation Authority plans to eliminate seats in certain trains during rush hours in order to accommodate greater numbers of passengers.
The MTA the throng mistreats,
Depriving them of subway seats.
Already like sardines they’re canned,
But riders now will have to stand.
Upstanding citizens lament:
No place to park one’s fundament!
This action public wrath ignites,
This blow to fundamental rights!
Acute discomfort will prevail
In daily riding of the rail.
The MTA, we all agree,
Deserves both scorn and raillery.
The fares increase; we’re charged more dough;
What’s our reward? It’s “SRO.”
If to a boycott all agree,
Then subway cars would BMT.
We’ll have, unless an answer’s found,
A revolution underground.
The passengers are in a snit,
The question: Will they stand for it?
Az mit der unterban me fort,
Me darf avade a zitsort.
In New York shtot, es geyt mer nit!
“Oyfshtel zikh, mentsh, no place to sit!”
Tsu MTA, me shrayt “oy vey,”
Nor nit oprufik zaynen zey,
Der hintn fun a pasazshir
Muz geyn onheymik, vey iz mir!
Der optsol take hekher krikht,
Far unterban mer gelt me zikht.
Der klal batsolt, nor mit a kas,
Umgliklekh, yo, s‘iz nit kayn shpas!
Revolution unter-erdish
Zol yetst zayn yeder eyner’s wish.
Der MTA iz nisht gerekht,
Der loyfveg fintster, azoy shlekht!
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to NYCEsqView I read your post And understand You poor New Yorkers need a hand I offer this (with no request) Why don't you move to the Midwest Pack up yourself, your spouse and kids Cause we're a little short on Yids And though we may not have much class We're sick of bailing out your ass Please let us know if you are coming And we'll consider indoor plumbing I'll get coals hot for the grill And we'll go see what we can kill It's got to be better than holding a strap Where the guy before had just taken a crap The only reason I'd move to New York? I heard you can get kosher pork Big Eye says, Stay cool and Shabbat Shalom Y'all
Humor notwithstanding, the concept is nothing short of barbaric. Shoving New Yorker's into already over-crowded subway cars like cattle is uncivilized, would burden the taxpayer with the cost for the (no doubt special-interest)subway seat renovation contract, and would exacerbate New Yorker's existent vulnerability to pick-pockets and other offenses. Moreover, implementing such proposal would directly undermine Commissioner Kelly's otherwise effective "See Something, Say Something" initiative in the fight against terrorism. Removing subway seats would remove "two-sets of eyes" critical to observing the very contemplated dangers there to be seen and then said. And, since these factors should be correctly deemed reasonably foreseeable, the MTA would be exposing itself to the costs (to be passed back on to the riding public, of course) of a potential flood of viable litigation in the event that such events should ensue as an advent of this grossly misguided proposal. While perhaps equally voter-unfriendly, but substantively more effective, open baby carriages on subway cars should be eliminated. They slow boarding, compromise public safety, impede ready ingress and egress, are arguably counterproductive to the welfare of the child, and consume excessive space. The hot-button topic of illegal immigration needs to be addressed. Subway overcrowding is symptomatic of the all-too-real burden that the illegal immigrant population continues to work on our transportation system, and only joins with erosion being caused to our overly-taxed infrastructure, health care system, utilities and other services. The time has long come - - and, in fact urges us - - to take a hard line in addressing the spacial problem at its roots, without depriving New Yorker's of their very safety, protection and civility.
The handicapped & the elderly should sue the MTA's pants off if this goes through.
Speaking of travel, as Stanley Siegelman does: SOME THINGS NEVER I took a pioneering trip To Mercury on a rocket ship; The sights were new but not the pattern-- My luggage spent the week on Saturn. BOTTLE BATTLE In the world's impoverished countries It's water you need to fear While in the prosperous nations It's best to avoid the air.
Should put that in "poetry in motion"!
"BMT" is about the cleverest line I have ever read in doggerel and I am a big fan of the greats -- Ogden, Dorothy, et. al. IRT-mendously impressed. (And grammatically challenged.) -- Lenore