The Ultimate Guide to Making Your First Date Amazing
• How many drinks you should have on the first date
• What you should you wear — and how to craft your “first date uniform”
• Why you should give a second date a chance
• Where you should NEVER go on a first date
As a founder of JCrush, I get asked about first date advice all the time. The most common mistake people make on a first date is suggesting to meet for dinner. I strongly advise our users against going to dinner as restaurants are more of a second date spot. Why? Because let’s pretend you are at dinner but the date is not going well. There is nothing more you want to do than excuse yourself and leave. You are most likely not going to enjoy your meal very much sitting across from someone you don’t click with. Here is a fact: dinner dates, at minimum, can last up to 60 to 90 minutes. Plus you wouldn’t want to be that person who says they are going to the “bathroom” and never comes back. Trust me, unfortunately I’ve heard this scenario happen more often than you can imagine.
Best place to go on a first date? A coffee shop or a place like it. First dates should not last longer than 30 minutes to one hour. This is plenty of time to figure out if there is a connection and chemistry for a second date. If you are both into each other, than go grab dinner on your second date! On a first date, I recommend a sober activity that can help you determine if there is chemistry and connection without the help of alcohol. We often host focus groups at our NY headquarters and we found out that 60% of first dates took place outside a restaurant or a bar, which is my recommendation.
Meeting for drinks is another go-to idea that might seem like a good idea but could also lead to some unforeseen regrets the next morning. Drinks are great but I would advise that for casual dating. If you want something serious, stick to a coffee-shop or a daytime activity that allows you to get to know the person.
Are first dates difficult for you? Arrive prepared with a list of questions and a few interesting stories. Know what qualities you are looking for in a person and by asking them certain questions, you will find out sooner.
Have trouble planning a second date? It’s important to pay attention and ask questions during the first date. Pay attention to signs – did they say they like art? Be proactive. Invite them to a museum exhibit or an activity/hobby they mentioned. While we love getting to know someone over a cup of coffee or during an intimate and cozy dinner, it is super refreshing to do something outside the box and get to know your date on a whole different level.
• Not sure how you feel about the guy/girl on the first date? Sometimes people are very nervous on the first date so please don’t get into many conclusions. If you have chemistry but didn’t like the person’s behavior, give that person another chance and meet in a different set up in a few days.
• Don’t wait too long till the next meeting, if you like that person let them know that you would like to know them better and meet again in a few days.
• For women. Don’t dress too sexy. Wear a so-to-speak “first date uniform.” it will make you feel relaxed and confident since you already road tested this outfit before. This way you won’t be fidgeting in something new and don’t have to think twice about what to wear!
• No movies please on a first date or even the second – how can you get to know each other by staring at a movie screen.
• We’ve all been there. You go on a date, you are nervous, and you end up drinking one too many…If you absolutely need a drink to get through a date, follow this simple rule: Drink the first, sip the second, skip the third.
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Sonya Kreizman is the co-founder and CEO of Crush Mobile, a company that develops mobile dating apps like JCrush and MiCrush, targeted at specific singles markets across the world. Sonya is responsible for managing day-to-day operations such as overseeing developers, designers, marketing strategy and most importantly, answering each and every dating question sent by an existing or future user. Her no-nonsense, pragmatic advice has been heralded by many critics, especially within the dating app scene. It is Sonya’s wide-ranging knowledge of millennials and online dating that has set her apart from the rest. In a business where most “dating coaches” have a book and a couple of life experiences as credibility, Sonya is the only dating app CEO offering real time advice. As online dating and traditional dating quickly become part of the same fabric, Sonya’s words are proven more and more invaluable.