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‘The Buchur’ Seeks Woman of Valor

Every now and then, something genuinely funny comes through our e-mail inbox. Last week, we got “The Buchur,” a yeshiva-ized version of the hit television show “The Bachelor,” in which one smarmy single guy flits between a gaggle of girls going gaga at the chance to get engaged. The parody comes from bangitout.com, a Web site that plays on the lifestyle of the young and Orthodox. Herewith are Episodes 1 and 2. We’re dying to know: Is there any hope for Chana Sora?

Episode 1: Welcome to The Buchur, as we join Yankel Dov Feffercorn on his wild three-week journey to find his bashert [soul mate]. Yankel will spend one quality hour with each of the maidalach [young women], going from hotel lobbies to Barnes and Nobles, as he searches for a true Aishes Chayil [woman of valor]. At the end of the dates, the ladies will gather at the Boro-Park mikvah [ritual bath] for dramatic shabbos [Sabbath] robe ceremonies with losers taking the dip of shame.

Let’s meet the maidelach. [They include] Chana Sora Pletzel, 21, a bookkeeper for Moishe’s Fine Gold and Diamonds on 47th Street in NYC — Chana’s hobbies include simcha dancing and browsing www.onlysimchas.com;… Ahuva Aleeza Zelmowitzker, 23, a physical therapist at the Mount Sinai Medical Center, and Stacy Sudds… 19, a waitress and a dancer at Scores in NYC…”

Episode 2: Let’s meet The Buchur: Yankel Dov, formerly known as Andrew David, is a buchur hailing from the mean streets of Flatbush, Brooklyn. Having been thrown out of Flatbush, MTA, Ramaz and Midwood High School… [something] hit him…. If he entered the Yeshivish world and faked learning for a few hours a day, he could have his father support him and he would be home free. That night, Andrew applied to every yeshiva in Brooklyn and was accepted by Yeshiva Rodef Nushim [Yeshiva ‘Chase Women’]. Andrew quickly became Yankel Dov.

Well, it’s been four long years since then, and Yankel is as dedicated as ever…. When asked about future plans for a job, Yankel confides that he has no plans for ever working, and he hopes this show will allow him to meet a maidala [young woman] whose daddy takes good care of her….

Stay tuned….

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