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The Schmooze

5 Father’s Day Gifts That Your Jewish Dad Will Love

I prefer to express my appreciation of loved ones in ways other than participating in the commercialization of holidays and, by extension, displays of affection. But most people aren’t socialist blowhards, so if you have yet to get something for Father’s Day, here’s five gifts that might make your Jewish dad happy.

1. Great Jews In Sports

On long car rides growing up, about 20% of my conversations with my dad involved figuring out which baseball players were Jewish. With this book, you’ll get a comprehensive look at Jews in sports and your dad can revel in the glory of teaching you all there is to know.

2. Jewish paraphernalia containing Dad jokes

Modern Tribe should be your go-to move on mugs, shirts and the like. Hip dads might like party like a lox-star tees, punny dads might prefer a Chai Y’all hat, or embarrassing dads (which, come to think of it, applies to all of these) would enjoy a No Limit Texas Dreidel shirt.

3. A nice watch

Okay, so I’m of the opinion that watches are obsolete technology that contribute zero aesthetic value. My father and his absurd watch collection disagree. I don’t know why so many Jewish dads like watches, but they do. So just let it go and allow them to bask in the wonders of antiquity.

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs

Sure, DVDs might be another relic from a bygone era, but a collection of all the seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm is at the very least a momentous addition to your parents’ living room. And it’s a perfect time for you and your dad to get caught up before the new season comes out.

5. Tickets to go see that old Jewish band or musician you heard your Dad play in the car so many times you unwittingly memorized all the lyrics with your dad.

You know you want to sing along to Paul Simon’s “Graceland” with your father for good old time’s sake.

BONUS: One gift you should NOT get: Home Depot gift card

If you don’t want your dad to make that dreaded “pit stop” at the hellhole that smells like wood and long lines at checkout after you see a movie together, don’t even think about it.

Steven Davidson is an editorial fellow at the Forward.


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