A wrathful Jew. Image by iStock

Biblically, Christianity is a religion of forgiveness and selfless love. Judaism? Less so. According to our oldest sacred texts we have an angry God and we are an angry people. We strike death blows on Egyptians. We gouge out the eyes of our enemies. We kill 200 Philistines and take their foreskins as spoils. Today the Jews are angrier, and funnier than ever.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of all of the Jews who were enraged this week:

The Jew lawyer in all of us:

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“It ain’t over til the Jew lawyer sings”-Roy Moore

— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) December 13, 2017

Jews who recognize seasonal literature when they see it:

Sean Spicer thinks that A Christmas Carol is a collection of Christmas carols pic.twitter.com/b8k2NzW2LT

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) December 14, 2017

Jews who like Christmas but not scapegoating:

Annual reminder not a single Jew in history has ever minded saying “Merry Christmas.” Though if you don’t mind maybe you could stop blaming us for your problems or better just ignore us entirely? https://t.co/05HHZz7KBA

— Michael Green (@andmichaelgreen) December 10, 2017

Friends of the Jews:

Can’t believe Roy Moore rode a Jew to his polling place

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) December 12, 2017

Jews who refused to let their location keep them from their tradition:

Anyway throwback to Hanukkah 5777 when my boyfriend was stuck in a West African jungle without a menorah. pic.twitter.com/3IZdaUd6g4

— Nino Kahan (@Kishmishiani) December 10, 2017

Sarcastic Jews:

It’s like an accused child predator who was twice removed from the bench, opposed to gays and Muslims and half the Constitution can’t catch a break these days

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) December 13, 2017

Just Jews who are being Jews:

I’m the most powerful Jewish woman in this forest fire

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 8, 2017

Furious Jews retreating other furious Jews

This tax bill was written for Republicans’ wealthy campaign contributors. I want to congratulate my Republican colleagues for their honesty about that.

— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) December 13, 2017

Jews who are succinct:

fuck the fcc

— Hanukkah Hoodie (@HoodieAllen) December 14, 2017

And finally, not rage, just rabbits:

This is one of those bad news/good news things from the Jewish Chronicle. pic.twitter.com/Gq0wpMwxWo

— Arieh Kovler (@ariehkovler) December 14, 2017

Happy Hanukkah! May your rage burn on long after the eight nights are complete.

Jenny Singer is a writer for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

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