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The Schmooze

Stephen Miller’s 3rd Grade Teacher Suspended After Revealing He Ate Glue, Was A ‘Loner’

Many of President Trump’s White House appointees have had their names plastered across headlines throughout his presidency. Some for tawdry personal affairs, others for misbehavior in the workforce. Their appearances have been scrutinized and their actions inspected. But with Stephen Miller, things tend to get really personal — his family started the job, and now his elementary school teacher is back to finish it.

It’s a bit of a sticky situation.

The Los Angeles Times reported on Thursday that longtime Santa Monica teacher Nikki Fiske was suspended after disclosing details about Miller’s behavior as a student, including the fact that he was a “loner” who “ate glue.”

Stephen Miller, the senior White House policy advisor who played a crucial role in orchestrating the Trump administration’s controversial Muslim ban and child separation policies, was a student in Fiske’s third grade class and, by her account, a “strange dude.” Miller would “pour the glue on his arm, let it dry, peel it off, and then eat it,” she told the Hollywood Reporter.

She elaborates on Miller’s, uh, tacky social tendencies, claiming that she had been deeply “concerned” about her student because he “was a loner and isolated and off by himself all the time.” Seems like Stephen Miller has been in a perpetual state of enemy-making, even back when he was an eight-year-old figuring out fractions and perfecting his cursive.

The school district that Fiske works in has reacted to the tidbits of gossip the teacher provided by placing her on “home assignment” until they figure out a way to permanently respond to “her release of student information,” according to a statement from the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District quoted in the Times.

We’re sure that if the decision was up to Mr. Miller, he’d have her shipped out of the country — that’s usually how he likes to solve problems.

All this bad press must be anxiety-provoking for Miller. We hope he has some nice thick Elmer’s glue around, in case he needs to stress-eat.

Tamar Skydell is an intern at The Forward. You can contact her at [email protected]

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