[ ![][2]][2] The leaders of the Israelite tribe are publicly supporting the regime of the Egyptian Pharaoh despite ongoing protests, and their own recent conflicts with the Middle Eastern despot. Citing security concerns, top Israelite officials said they believe that the Pharaoh is the best choice to ensure stability and peace in the region. “Although…
The recovery of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords from her shooting on January 8 in Tucson, Ariz., continues apace. Doctors confirm that, although still in the early stages of physical rehabilitation, she is now debating Talmud with leading scholars. “Before the incident, she didn’t know much Hebrew,” noted Rabbi Aaron Friend. “But now she seems to understand…
[ ![][2]][2] LOS ANGELES — It appears that years of unflagging effort, dire warnings and sanctions may all have been for naught. Hollywood insiders are warning that the Islamic Republic of Iran has acquired both the materials and technological wherewithal to launch a motion picture guaranteed to bomb catastrophically worldwide. High-ranking officials in the motion…
[ ![][2]][2] ‘Who put the condom in condominium?” asks avid reader Hugo Hefnerovich: more as an accusation than as a question. Despite the tone, the inquiry is worthy of further investigation, since the French inventor of the sheep gut prophylactic was a descendant of Rashi who had fled south from Troyes to the eponymous town…
[ ![][2]][2] Dear Natalie, I’m 7 months pregnant, and I’m already exhausted! I can’t imagine how I’m going to manage when the baby is actually born. Any tips for dealing with the fatigue of being an expectant mother? WORN OUT IN WASHINGTON Dear Worn Out, I hear you! The late months of pregnancy can be…
[ ![][2]][2] LONDON — As excitement mounts for April’s upcoming International Facial Hair Festival in Götterdämmerung, Germany, organizers were delighted to announce a détente between the strong Pan-Muslim team, “Wahhabi Warriors,” and the much-fancied “Israel Right or Wrong” team. Brokered by Billy Gibbons, the lead singer of rock group ZZ Top, the groundbreaking deal will…
[ ![][2]][2] A joint commission of Israeli and Jewish communal leaders is urging that the numerical translation of the word “chai,” long associated with good luck, be changed from 18 to 25 as a form of economic stimulus. “We believe that by embarking on this policy of quantitative expansion, the Jewish community can jump-start the…
[ ![][2]][2] Following the recent revelations that Glenn Beck (born Beckershteyn) shares the Jewish genetic marker, the Cohen Modal haplotype, he has been brushing up on his Yiddish and planning his holidays. Later this year he will be making the pilgrimage to Uman, and in his backpack will be an early draft of Eric Yoffie’s…
באַזונדערש רירנדיק דאָ זײַנען די בילדער פֿון משפּחה־רײַבונגען, פֿון באַגעגענישן װאָס ברענגען נישט צו קײן עמאָציאָנעלע פֿאַרשטענדיקונגען.
