The Gargantuan Gonif

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published January 09, 2009, issue of January 16, 2009.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: Bernard Madoff, a heretofore widely respected New York financier, has been charged by federal authorities with master-minding a massive alleged Ponzi scheme — assumed to be the largest in history. Madoff has played an active role within the Jewish community.


The central point, the vital crux:
He stole some fifty billion bucks!
That’s billion, boychik, with a “B,”
A lot of moola, you’ll agree!

There’s nothing here at which to scoff!
We gasp! With how much he Madoff!
With wizardry and practiced ease
He ripped off huge philanthropies!

Held once in highest of esteem,
Now tainted by his Ponzi scheme,
He deigns, flagrante, to confess
He’s left rich clients penniless.
His list of victims, well-to-do,
Reads like a roll-call of “Who’s Who.”
In fact, he always answered “no”
When low-rank persons proffered dough.

Two sets of ledgers he maintained.
(Legerdemain, and unrestrained!)
Another most unpleasant vibe:
He cheated members of his tribe.

We catch our breath, we’re over-awed
By the extent of Bernie’s fraud.
Did partners share his ill-got gains?
Gelt by association stains!


Shnel tsu der zakh! S‘iz vert a lakh!
Er hot geganvet gor a sakh!
Bilyonen! Alts farfaln! Nu?
M’kvetsht di pleytses: “Vot to do?”

Der boylet finantsist, Madoff,
Vet hobn yetst a fintstern sof.
A filontrop, a hefernik,
Er hot geshpilt a dirty trick.
Oyf raykhe mentshn, orem yetst,
A ganef iz er! (Self-confessed!)

Er hot gehat groys onzen,
A fifiker mazek (zogt Amen!)
Bashvindlen, ober, iz zayn flek,
Zayn shem iz inem optret, drek!

Miton a groshn, oy nisht gut,
Karbones shrayen far zayn blut.
Khoshev nit mer, beyond the pale,
M’darf im varfn shnel in jail !

Opnarn mentshn iz zayn shuld,
Bashtrof im bald (no punches pulled!)
Un lomir makhn do a punkt:
Zayn shvindl, take, iz “farshtunkt”!

Mir Yidn yetst ibern land
Oyf Madoff kukn mit a shand!


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • Law professor Dan Markel waited a shocking 19 minutes for an ambulance as he lay dying after being ambushed in his driveway. Read the stunning 911 transcript as neighbor pleaded for help.
  • Happy birthday to the Boy Who Lived! July 31 marks the day that Harry Potter — and his creator, J.K. Rowling — first entered the world. Harry is a loyal Gryffindorian, a matchless wizard, a native Parseltongue speaker, and…a Jew?
  • "Orwell would side with Israel for building a flourishing democracy, rather than Hamas, which imposed a floundering dictatorship. He would applaud the IDF, which warns civilians before bombing them in a justified war, not Hamas terrorists who cower behind their own civilians, target neighboring civilians, and planned to swarm civilian settlements on the Jewish New Year." Read Gil Troy's response to Daniel May's opinion piece:
  • "My dear Penelope, when you accuse Israel of committing 'genocide,' do you actually know what you are talking about?"
  • What's for #Shabbat dinner? Try Molly Yeh's coconut quinoa with dates and nuts. Recipe here:
  • Can animals suffer from PTSD?
  • Is anti-Zionism the new anti-Semitism?
  • "I thought I was the only Jew on a Harley Davidson, but I was wrong." — Gil Paul, member of the Hillel's Angels. http://jd.fo/g4cjH
  • “This is a dangerous region, even for people who don’t live there and say, merely express the mildest of concern about the humanitarian tragedy of civilians who have nothing to do with the warring factions, only to catch a rash of *** (bleeped) from everyone who went to your bar mitzvah! Statute of limitations! Look, a $50 savings bond does not buy you a lifetime of criticism.”
  • That sound you hear? That's your childhood going up in smoke.
  • "My husband has been offered a terrific new job in a decent-sized Midwestern city. This is mostly great, except for the fact that we will have to leave our beloved NYC, where one can feel Jewish without trying very hard. He is half-Jewish and was raised with a fair amount of Judaism and respect for our tradition though ultimately he doesn’t feel Jewish in that Larry David sort of way like I do. So, he thinks I am nuts for hesitating to move to this new essentially Jew-less city. Oh, did I mention I am pregnant? Seesaw, this concern of mine is real, right? There is something to being surrounded by Jews, no? What should we do?"
  • "Orwell described the cliches of politics as 'packets of aspirin ready at the elbow.' Israel's 'right to defense' is a harder narcotic."
  • From Gene Simmons to Pink — Meet the Jews who rock:
  • The images, which have since been deleted, were captioned: “Israel is the last frontier of the free world."
  • As J Street backs Israel's operation in Gaza, does it risk losing grassroots support?
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.