The Gargantuan Gonif

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published January 09, 2009, issue of January 16, 2009.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: Bernard Madoff, a heretofore widely respected New York financier, has been charged by federal authorities with master-minding a massive alleged Ponzi scheme — assumed to be the largest in history. Madoff has played an active role within the Jewish community.


The central point, the vital crux:
He stole some fifty billion bucks!
That’s billion, boychik, with a “B,”
A lot of moola, you’ll agree!

There’s nothing here at which to scoff!
We gasp! With how much he Madoff!
With wizardry and practiced ease
He ripped off huge philanthropies!

Held once in highest of esteem,
Now tainted by his Ponzi scheme,
He deigns, flagrante, to confess
He’s left rich clients penniless.
His list of victims, well-to-do,
Reads like a roll-call of “Who’s Who.”
In fact, he always answered “no”
When low-rank persons proffered dough.

Two sets of ledgers he maintained.
(Legerdemain, and unrestrained!)
Another most unpleasant vibe:
He cheated members of his tribe.

We catch our breath, we’re over-awed
By the extent of Bernie’s fraud.
Did partners share his ill-got gains?
Gelt by association stains!


Shnel tsu der zakh! S‘iz vert a lakh!
Er hot geganvet gor a sakh!
Bilyonen! Alts farfaln! Nu?
M’kvetsht di pleytses: “Vot to do?”

Der boylet finantsist, Madoff,
Vet hobn yetst a fintstern sof.
A filontrop, a hefernik,
Er hot geshpilt a dirty trick.
Oyf raykhe mentshn, orem yetst,
A ganef iz er! (Self-confessed!)

Er hot gehat groys onzen,
A fifiker mazek (zogt Amen!)
Bashvindlen, ober, iz zayn flek,
Zayn shem iz inem optret, drek!

Miton a groshn, oy nisht gut,
Karbones shrayen far zayn blut.
Khoshev nit mer, beyond the pale,
M’darf im varfn shnel in jail !

Opnarn mentshn iz zayn shuld,
Bashtrof im bald (no punches pulled!)
Un lomir makhn do a punkt:
Zayn shvindl, take, iz “farshtunkt”!

Mir Yidn yetst ibern land
Oyf Madoff kukn mit a shand!


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • Happy birthday Barbra Streisand! Our favorite Funny Girl turns 72 today.
  • Clueless parenting advice from the star of "Clueless."
  • Why won't the city give an answer?
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • Would you get to know racists on a first-name basis if you thought it might help you prevent them from going on rampages, like the recent shooting in Kansas City?
  • "You wouldn’t send someone for a math test without teaching them math." Why is sex ed still so taboo among religious Jews?
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.