Top 10 Badass Mah Jongg Jews

Have We Got a List for You, Jeffrey Goldberg!

Sun Tzu’s Jews Sigmund Freud and Judith of Bethulia taking stock of their Pongs and Kongs at the 2013 Miami World Championship of Mah Jongg.
kurt hoffman
Sun Tzu’s Jews Sigmund Freud and Judith of Bethulia taking stock of their Pongs and Kongs at the 2013 Miami World Championship of Mah Jongg.

By Backward Staff

Published May 23, 2013.
  • Print
  • Share Share
  • Single Page

Former Forward staffer, Grumpy Jeffrey Goldberg, thinks that lists of Jews are a bad idea, just because a few white supremacists enjoy using them. And also, because they don’t always include him and/or Natalie Portman.

That’s ridiculous. First of all, Natalie Portman blew a lot of list-ability with “No Strings Attached.” And his logic is totally cockamamie. So white supremacists like lists of Jews. You know who else did? Oskar Schindler. Who, admittedly, was a Nazi, but still.

And you know who else likes lists? Everyone loves lists, Jeffrey Goldberg. Do you think that Buzzfeed is popular because of its investigative journalism and scintillating prose. (Here’s a hint: No.) And if the world is going to make lists of EVERYTHING, why not the Jews? Why aren’t the Jews as good as everyone else? WHY DO YOU HATE JEWS, JEFFREY?

Anyway, pace Jeffrey, here’s another list of Jews. This time the most awesome Jewish Mah Jongg pairings that history could bring us. Because Goldberg telling the Jewish media to stop writing lists is just a cry for help… and for more Jewish lists of Jews.

The 10 Best Ever Jews, and Their Badass Jewish Mah Jongg Partners (with apologies to many previous listmakers: 11 Points, Listverse, Heeb (on sex, natch), Buzzfeed (on politics, natch), the surprisingly comprehensive Adherents and the totally amazing Forward 50)

11 (On the Bench):
Moses and Emma Goldman
He may have been Prince of Egypt, but Moses and Emma Goldman shared the liberator’s nightmare of being stuck in the House of Bondage. And that’s their lot in this Mah Jongg squad. Eager to get to the table, they’re stuck on the bench while Moses turns his staff into a snake and back into a staff, over and over again.

10
Albert Einstein and Judah Maccabee
Albert Einstein worked out relativity before he was 26, even while his full time job was a patent officer and while he had a wife and one year old son at home. If that’s not enough to rob your Kong, Judah Maccabee single-handedly destroyed the local branch of the Seleucid Empire, elephants and all. There don’t be no Mah Jongg championships at the Seleucid Games in Israel every four years.

9
Golda Meir and Abraham
Being as how Abraham was the smasher of idols, inventor of monotheism, talker with the Big Guy and all round founder of what we like to call Yidishkeyt, it needs a strong woman to partner him — not Sarah, his wife, who went along with him calling her his sister when it suited (that whole Abimelech thing). Golda was the original Iron Lady, fourth Prime Minister of Israel, so cool they had to get Ingrid Bergman to play her, and Leonard Nimoy to play her husband. They got the Four Winds covered y’all.


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • When is a legume not necessarily a legume? Philologos has the answer.
  • "Sometime in my childhood, I realized that the Exodus wasn’t as remote or as faceless as I thought it was, because I knew a former slave. His name was Hersh Nemes, and he was my grandfather." Share this moving Passover essay!
  • Getting ready for Seder? Chag Sameach! http://jd.fo/q3LO2
  • "We are not so far removed from the tragedies of the past, and as Jews sit down to the Seder meal, this event is a teachable moment of how the hatred of Jews-as-Other is still alive and well. It is not realistic to be complacent."
  • Aperitif Cocktail, Tequila Shot, Tom Collins or Vodka Soda — Which son do you relate to?
  • Elvis craved bacon on tour. Michael Jackson craved matzo ball soup. We've got the recipe.
  • This is the face of hatred.
  • What could be wrong with a bunch of guys kicking back with a steak and a couple of beers and talking about the Seder? Try everything. #ManSeder
  • BREAKING: Smirking killer singled out Jews for death in suburban Kansas City rampage. 3 die in bloody rampage at JCC and retirement home.
  • Real exodus? For Mimi Minsky, it's screaming kids and demanding hubby on way down to Miami, not matzo in the desert.
  • The real heroines of Passover prep aren't even Jewish. But the holiday couldn't happen without them.
  • Is Handel’s ‘Messiah’ an anti-Semitic screed?
  • Meet the Master of the Matzo Ball.
  • Pierre Dulaine wants to do in his hometown of Jaffa what he did for kids in Manhattan: teach them to dance.
  • "The first time I met Mick Jagger, I said, 'Those are the tackiest shoes I’ve ever seen.'” Jewish music journalist Lisa Robinson remembers the glory days of rock in her new book, "There Goes Gravity."
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.