Stanley Siegelman
By Stanley Siegelman
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News Untitled
’Twill come, I know, as no surprise. (I speak, of course, of my demise.) The signs abound, for all to see: A curtailed life expectancy. My breath is short, my sighs are long, The heart beats sound (to me, all wrong.) Self-pity I will not embrace, But these are facts that one must face. My…
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News Ed Koch, Unabridged
NEWS ITEM: New York City’s Queensboro Bridge has been renamed the Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge, in honor of the former mayor. The renaming was accomplished despite fierce opposition from some politicians. His enemies’ ire has risen a notch, They’re angered the bridge has been named for Ed Koch. “So how am I doin’?” he answers,…
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News Chicago’s Next Mayor
Chicago has elected former White House chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel as its next mayor. When Emanuel takes office, he will be the first Jew to lead the city. You’re asking, maybe, “so what’s new?” Chicago’s mayor is a Jew, The very first to reach that post, A feat of which the tribe may boast. We speak…
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News Former Madam Aspires To Be Governor
NEWS ITEM: Kristin Davis, a former madam, who once served a three-month jail sentence for prostitution, is running for governor of New York. In a recent debate with fellow gubernatorial contenders, including Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino, Davis advocated for the legalization of marijuana. Ambassador of earthy love This former madam opts for gov: ?The…
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News The Restaurant That’s Glatt Treyf
NEWS ITEM: Traif. That’s the name of a restaurant located in the heart of Brooklyn’s Williamsburg, not far from the neighborhood’s Hasidic enclave. A restaurant named Traif? We fear There’s something that’s not kosher here! One guesses, from its bill of fare, No mameloshn’s spoken there. To underscore its stress on swine, The store displays…
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Opinion An Ode to ‘Feh’
An expletive beyond compare, And one which every Jew can share! We write of feh, a word robust That’s used to register disgust. It springs from distant tribal source Of salty verbal intercourse. (Quite similarly, we employ The noted lamentation, oy.) Ubiquitous, the feh is used Where’er the Yiddish tongue is schmoozed. It soars to…
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News Photographic Exposure in Israel
NEWS ITEM: A photographer who is famous for taking pictures of voluntarily nude crowds at sites around the world is planning to bring his shtick to Israel. He will stage the event on the shores of the Dead Sea, where naked masses are expected to attend. Some photo-takers get their kicks From snapping naughty nudist…
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News Three Jews, One Bench
NEWS ITEM: Elena Kagan has been confirmed by the Senate as a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, joining two other Jews in that role. For the first time, three Jews will be serving on the court simultaneously. The other justices are Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer. To say the least, we are surprised!…
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