Why ‘Ladies’ Cocktails’ Are Sexist — And What We Should Drink Instead

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By Shira Feder June 20, 2018

What does the liquor industry think women like to drink? Is it “vodka that tastes like cupcakes, whiskey that tastes like cinnamon, or some “skinny-ized” variation of an otherwise classic drink” as Misty Kalkofen and Kirsten Amann write in their new book “Drinking Like Ladies”? What do women actually like to drink? Equally importantly, what would the legendary women who came before us have drunk and how can we have whatever they’re having?

In their sleek new book, which all started with a club, auspiciously-titled Ladies for the Preservation of Endangered Cocktails, or LUPEC, Kalkofen and Amann chronicle the lives of under-acknowledged female heroes and get some of the world’s best female bartenders to mix drinks in their honor. From Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Lady Diana, this book is full of toasts reminiscent of the pre-Prohibition Golden Age of Cocktails, where fresh juices, syrups and liquors were creatively used to enhance the natural flavors of base spirits like whiskey and gin.

But now it’s time to dust off the old recipes and start learning about strong cocktails created in honor of strong women. I spoke to authors Misty Kalkofen and Kirsten Amann about their mission to bring back the Golden Age of Cocktails and what it means to drink like a lady.

Shira Feder: So this book started with a club, Ladies for the Preservation of Endangered Cocktails, or LUPEC. How did it come to be?

Kirsten Amann: It was all very serendipitous! Misty learned about the Pittsburgh chapter, which was founded in 2001, through a friend who sent her a link to their website. She gathered a group of women she knew in Boston, a nice blend of restaurant industry gals, cocktail enthusiasts, and history buffs, and invited us to a meeting to chat about what a group like LUPEC would look like.

The first meeting was amazing. It wasn’t long before we had pages and pages of ideas for different in-home cocktail parties, local charities to support, and different ways we could fundraise and give back to our community! And of course, selecting our cocktail monikers, which was a blast!

Misty Kalkofen: Shortly after LUPEC was founded in 2007, Kirsten and I started writing a column in Boston’s Weekly Dig. Each week we would highlight an unsung woman in history and toast her via a cocktail recipe. After more than twenty rejections and ten years, the cocktail book is finally here.

Kristen Amann Image by Courtesy of Kristen Amann

What does it mean to drink like a lady?

MK: Drinking like a lady means drinking what you like and doing so with confidence! For too long we’ve been pigeonholed into the realm of the girly drink, sugary sweet out-of-balance concoctions meant to mask the booze rather than highlight quality ingredients. Women of the world are as unique as the spirits on a well-stocked back bar and our preferences and palates reflect that. Whether a woman’s taste is sweet, pink and fruity or brown, down and bold, order with confidence and enjoy!

KA: It’s an absurd idea if you think about it, right? Most antiquated ideas of “drinking like a lady” probably suggest drinking sweet things, or with a pinky raised, or not drinking at all! I think we can do better in 2018, and that drinking like a lady today means learning your own palate, experimenting, knowing that women are generally better “tasters” than men, and having fun! We haven’t even been allowed in the bar for 100 years, so we might as well make up for lost time!

There’s no shortage of unsung women to raise a glass to, as you write in your intro, but I was particularly interested in the stories of Lise Meitner, a Jewish woman who helped discover nuclear fission, and Irena Sendler, who saved more than 2,500 Jewish children during World War II. These women aren’t household names. How did you find out about their stories?

MK: Kirsten and I proudly proclaim ourselves nerds! We are both voracious readers and have been collecting names of women mentioned in passing in books and articles for years. From there it was on to newspaper and library research including help from our favorite research librarian Christine Fernsebner Eslao.

KA: Learning about these women and thinking about how to honor them in this book was so enjoyable to me, but at times equally frustrating. It seems inconceivable that Lise Meitner and Irena Sendler’s stories could have been forgotten to time. Meitner helped discover nuclear fission! The hoops she had to jump through to prove herself as a scientist – based solely on the fact that she was a women – are staggeringly inane, such as having to work in the basement of one lab because the director thought she would “catch her hair on fire.” The perseverance of these women is so inspiring, and meditating upon that and sharing that with the world is a true honor.

Misty Kalkofen Image by Courtesy of Misty Kalkofen

How are cocktails and women’s history a natural fit?

MK: Cocktails and history are a natural fit. Throughout history cocktails were created to celebrate and commemorate important events and momentous occasions. However, since the barroom was predominantly a male preserve until the roaring 20’s most of those commemorative tipples were the result of a barman rather than a barmaid. Likewise, too often women’s roles in the important moments in history were minimized or eliminated to highlight the men involved. Drinking Like Ladies is striving to level the playing field for all women, behind the bar, in front of the bar and in the annals of history.

KA: This is a great question, because many of the publishers who rejected our book did so because they felt cocktails and women’s history were “too much of a stretch!” But we’ve had so many delighted reactions when we tell people about this project, from both men and women, that the timing feels right for it. If nothing else, thumbing through the pages of Drinking Like Ladies will give you fascinating fodder for your next dinner or cocktail party, and isn’t that what barroom banter is all about, sharing stories?

What is your forgotten historical cocktail of choice?

MK: I’m a huge fan of the Hanky Panky, which was created by Ada Coleman at the American Bar at the Savoy Hotel in London. When you mention the Savoy Hotel to bartenders, they first think of Harry Craddock who catalogued the recipes of the American Bar into the beautiful art-deco ‘Savoy Hotel Cocktail Book’. However, before there was a Mr. Craddock, there was a Ms. Coleman who was known for delicious libations and stellar hospitality.

KA: My favorite is the drink I selected as my cocktail moniker when we started LUPEC in 2007: The Pink Lady. It’s pre-Prohibition so it was probably invented by a barman and named for a popular Broadway show from the time. The drink is made with Applejack, which is America’s oldest distilled spirit, and gin, which back in 2007 was still vodka’s step-sister. It also has egg white and fresh grenadine, ingredients that were common in the first Golden Age of cocktails but are still commonly misunderstood without education. Once combined, it’s a delicious, frothy slightly apple-y concoction that sounds like an innocuous “girly drink” but is actually balanced and quite strong – subtly subversive.

How can ladies dismantle the patriarchy one drink at a time?

MK: Our favorite way is to drink (and eat and shop) for a cause! Our dollars and where we spend them matter. Patronize local businesses that support women through their hiring practices and through the organizations they choose to support in your community.

KA: Commiserating about experiences and offering mutual support has been a cornerstone of women’s activism for generations. Knowledge is power, and I truly think the better we are acquainted with our history, the less likely we are to repeat it. I’d love for the STEM ladies out there reading this to remember Lise Meitner as they advocate for themselves and their work in their field. Learning about the women in this book and keeping their stories of heroism and triumph over adversity alive is a wonderful way to dismantle patriarchal narratives.

Shira Feder loves an elaborate cocktail. She’s at @shirafeder or [email protected]

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