The Brooklyn Derriere Dispute
NEWS ITEM: The Metropolitan Transportation Authority removed a vodka ad from buses that travel through Brooklyn’s Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods after Hasidim complained. The ad showed the backside of a woman clad in a bikini.
Hasidim have expressed despair
On witnessing the derriere.
Bikinis worn on female bums
Provoke, in them, deliriums.
They fume, they fret, they voice lament
On seeing thus the fundament.
The backside’s an effrontery,
Hasidim seemingly agree.
Will someone please explain this rush
To vent such ire upon the tush?
Why single out, to this degree,
That segment of anatomy?
Why focus on the hinder-part?
Why do they take this so to heart?
Is size a factor? “Large means lewd”?
Would “skinny” make that part less crude?
(Backsides, by nature, veer to “plump,”
Few folks pay heed to skinny rump.)
These two extremes confound the mind!
A middle-ground let’s get behind!
Should pics of rears from ads be barred
Because they’re treyf, like slabs of lard?
The tukhes may to some seem vile,
While others greet it with a smile.
From top to bottom, let’s discuss
This disputation rancorous.
More facts and details let’s amass
And analyze the deep morass.
No harm accrues if we explore
Nuances of posterior.
Let’s put aside all pride and pique
And maybe turn the other cheek.