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DER YIDDISH-VINKL April 15, 2005

Stanley Siegelman returns to Der Vinkl once again with a rare news item and a poetic piece in his peculiar and distinctive Yiddish and English versions — both of them in his very own Yinglish vernacular, a mix of Yiddish and English. “Kiddish Klubs,” he wrote, “have come under fire. They are groups whose members too often steal away from Saturday morning synagogue services (sometimes during the rabbi’s sermon) to indulge in alcoholic refreshment and social conviviality. The Orthodox Union, representing some 1,000 congregations, called for dissolution of the clubs.”

“Kiddish Klubs”: Tsoris Fun Bronfn

Der khazn zingt mit “verve and vim”: Men vundert: “Vots got into him?”

Der entfer iz: zayn boylet kol Kumt itst fun bronfn, nisht fun “soul”

Er’z nit aleyn, der mishegas Khapt yedr eynem — nisht keyn shpas

Fun davenen di “congregants” Vern oysgematert, nervez un, “tense”

Der oylem shrayendik “amen,” Vert dorshtik funem davenen

Zey geyen far a “chat,” a “shmooze,” A “glezele l’khaim” (“booze”)

A shnapsl khapn zey arayn Un efsher oykh a bisl vayn

A goyishe zakh un nisht kin Yidish! ’Zoy tut men mit a heylikn kidish?

Di frage makht undz “all agog” Groyse problem far a “synagogue!”

A yid farnosket? Aza “fool”! Oy, lozt im nit arayn in shul!

* * *|

Kiddush Clubbing Gets a Drubbing

The cantor cantilates with glee He does so quite noteworthily

But is he really that devout? Or is he just a drunken lout?

He’s not alone, he’s had a nip But, others, too, have had a sip

The congregants, may they be blessed, May not all pass a sobriety test

In prayer thoroughly immersed They grow fatigued, develop thirst

They slip out for a chat, a “shmooze,” And for a little shot of booze

They find it godly, quite divine, To revel in the taste of wine

How unseemly, most unYiddish Thus to desecrate the kiddush!

Should anyone to God give praise While in an alcoholic haze?

All those who pray it seems to us, Should try to be abstemious.

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