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DER YIDDISH-VINKL September 17, 2004

For our consistent contributor, Stanley Siegelman, no subject — no matter how lofty or lowly — escapes his prolific and potent pen, commonly dipped in a mad mix of acid and honey. Here’s his latest.

NEWS ITEM: At least five women working at the United Nations charged that the organization’s high commissioner for refugees has sexually harassed them by “grabbing their behinds.” He did not deny doing so, claiming only that his “friendly gestures” had been “misunderstood“ U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan has admonished him.

Hentn Oyfn Hintn

An emese shande! Oy, me ken

Meshuge vern by der U.N!

Der “commisar fun refugees”

Er glet di vayber! Dos iz mis!

In tukhis git er zey a kneyp!

“Gevald , oy ratevet! A ‘rape.’”

A man vi er! A man zo hoykh!

Es shist fun im a flam, a roykh!

Kofi Annan, zayn balebos

Shrayt “Yoyshe! Zol shoyn zayn a shlos!”

Der commissar, er git a lakh:

“Nisht mer shpil ikh mit bekelakh,”

Zogt er — un vider heybt on lakhn:

“Ikh gey fun dem tsu hekh’re zakhn.”

The Hand That Reddens Cheeks

U.N. commish of refugees

Is lacking in “noblesse oblige.”

He’s somewhat oversexed, we fear

Glad-handing ladies on the rear!

The countries of the world aghast Recoil at females thus har-assed.

United, nations want to know

How high commish could sink so low.

At bottom, he’s been unrefined

And to the derrière inclined.

A castigation of the man

Comes from his boss, Kofi Annan:

“I hereby for U.N. decree

A strictly hands-off policy!”

The culprit now cries out in shame:

“In future, I will higher aim.”




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