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DER YIDDISH-VINKL September 5, 2003

Our steady readers must, by now, be well acquainted with the ever-punning and provocative poet Stanley Siegelman. His pieces on a Jewish president, Senator Hillary Clinton’s confessions, dog bar mitzvahs and the Supreme Court decision on gays have left their indelible mark as cutting commentaries on the follies of our times. This time, his subject is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Schwarzenegger Loyft

Ut kumt er yetst, der groyser bul-van,

Der Schvartzenegger khevreman!

Vos, m’fregt, kumt do for?

“Ikh vil zayn der gubernator!”

Er loyft, er loyft! S’iz okh un vey

Far gantse Cal-i-for-ni-yey!

Zayne verter kumen oys vi Daytsh

Un darfn neytik a fartaytsh.

Tsebrokhn is zayn Eynglish shprakh

A gubernator? Fe! A lakh!

Di Demokratn, “in rebuff,”

Zey vinshn im a shvsartzn sof.

Der kandidat fun bobkes veyst

“Der Terminator” kukt oys “spaced.”

Gevald! Er vegt a halbe-ton!

A take groyser Republicon!

A meyvn ken er keynmol zayn

Er redt nor in der velt arayn.

Er tsaygt a sakh zayne “pecs,”

(Der politik gemisht mit sex!)

Er ken undz ale tsen mol koyfn

Zog farvos er take darf loyfn!

Klop kop in vant un shray gevald

Az Arnold vert derveylt bald.

Schwarzenegger Runs

Now here he comes, the great big lout

A man who seeks to have more clout.

Why, Schwarzenegger, the furor?

“I want to be the governor!”

He’s off and running. All say “duh!”

Poor hapless California!

His words have a Teutonic tinge

Translators listen, then they cringe.

Plain English he cannot command:

This guy aspires to rule the land?

The Democrats, in deep despair,

Are wary of this millionaire.

The candidate appears so dense!

His “terminator” so immense!

Full half-a-ton he weighs, this man,

A truly great Republican!

But expert will he ever be?

He lacks substantiality!

He shows his abs without surcease

And glories in his frontispiece!

He flexes, too, his rippling pecs

Combining politics and sex.

Of money (cash) the man has tons

Can someone tell us why he runs?

If he’s elected, “havoc” cry!

Please vote and choose another guy!

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