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The Schmooze

Rabbi Sex Toy Is Real ‘Mastur-Piece’!

Apparently, creating a rabbi-shaped dildo isn’t the most controversial thing British comedian Shed Simove has done.

In fact, it’s what he chose to name the sex toy that’s giving him a headache. According to Haaretz, Simove is being sued by sex mega-store owner Ann Summers, who thinks that “Rampant Rabbi” is a little too close to her own brand of fun, called the “Rampant Rabbit.”

The vibrating Jewish religious leader — which offers “the modern Jewish woman a religious experience” — is part of the “masturpieces” collection, a new line of sex toys designed by Simove. Other gems include “C*nt Dracula” — pretty self-explanatory— and Buckingham Phallus, bearing the royal visage of Queen Elizabeth II.

Offensive? Simove doesn’t think so. “I am Jewish and a fan of laughing at one’s culture,” he told the New York Daily News, when asked if his dildo might offend Jews.

As to whether or not women seeking for the advertised “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” reaction will be confused by a one letter difference in “rabbi” and “rabbit,” Simove isn’t too worried. In any case, he will continue to sell his version.

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