“The Unofficial Hogwarts Haggadah” is slated for release in the coming days. Like peanut butter and chocolate, the Passover story goes great with the popular series. Here are a few more franchises we think should publish haggadahs.
1. Star Wars
You can see the opening crawl now: “A long time ago, in a house of slavery far far away, a leader is born.” We’re not sure whether Luke Skywalker is quite Moses, and we’re fairly certain that Princess Leia isn’t simply Aaron, but there’s plenty of scope for discussion of liberation in the multi-part movie series. Plus, after 15 years of oranges, it’ll be nice to ask: “What’s a Wookie doing on my Seder Plate?” Rabbi Moshe Rosenberg, author of the Hogwarts haggadah, hinted at his interest in writing the Star Wars guide to the galaxy. Here’s hoping for Passover 5778!
2. Back to the Future
It took the Children of Israel 40 years of wandering in the desert to make it to the Promised Land. Just imagine how much better they’d have done with a Delorean. Let alone with a Delorean equipped with a flux capacitor. Plus, with a nation-size dump of chametz available for fuel through the garbage processor we’d get to 1.21 gigawatt in a flash. For a holiday that’s all about our people’s history, what could be more fitting than a movie trilogy about time travel?
The story of a young man making good and rising through the ranks of a powerful nation is more Joseph than Moses or Judah Maccabee (though don’t tell these two Jewish a capella groups). But this is one franchise that will not throw away its shot at a full length haggadah.
4. Hunger Games
For those of us used to extended family seders, the evening is already known as “Hunger Games.” Getting to drink a minimum of four cups of wine is all very well but let’s face it, munching on bitter herbs and parsley will not keep our stomachs full through to number 11 of the 15 items of the Seder — “Eat the Seder Meal.” If you use this haggadah, don’t be surprised if you open the door for Elijah and you find Katniss.
5. Fifty Shades of Grey
Liberate us from the House of Bondage into, ummm, the House of Bondage. Nuff said.
Contact Shira Hanau at firstname.lastname@example.org