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The Schmooze

Stephen Colbert Hates Thanksgivukkah

With Thanksgivukkah madness on the rise, we’d be remiss if we didn’t include Stephen Colbert’s angry rant in the mix.

Stephen Colbert loves Thanksgiving. So it’s no wonder he gets mad when “American sacred day of family, and hearing Nana’s unvarnished opinion of Filipinos, is in danger.”

Why is his glorious holiday in such peril? In an unlikely turn of events (which will only happen again 70,000 years from now), the first day of Hannukah coincides with Thanksgiving. The horror! Children could start believing that “Thanksgiving started when the Wampanoag sat down with the Maccabees and the yams lasted for eight nights,” he laments.

“How dare you, Hannukah!”

Hilarity ensues.

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