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The Schmooze

Of Frat Bros and Bagels

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Some people fight with their fists. Some use their words. And others, like these bros from Oxford, Ohio’s Miami University Phi Tau fraternity, use a bag of bagels.

According to the Daily Dot, 6 of Phi Tau’s most upstanding gentlemen were in the middle of allegedly breaking into the house of campus rivals Kappa Alpha, when they were on camera by a local bouncer.

What followed may go down in history as the Great Bagel Caper of 2014 — or that time 6 frat bros chased a guy down the street beating him with a sleeve of frozen bagels.

The bouncer, one TriicepsBrah (!!!) took to Reddit to tell his side of the story:

They followed me for 3 blocks trying to grab me and get my phone. Said they would kill me trying to punch and smacking me with a bag of begals [sic] etc. After everything is over with my phone inconveniently runs out of power. So my boss plugs it into his computer and copied the video. We spoke to the owners of the house and it was clear that the video would be given to them as well as the cops.”

Guys, come on — that’s just a waste of good bagels. Make brunch, not war.

Watch the whole thing below. If anything, it’ll just make you glad you’re not in college anymore (NSFW — when frat boys use their words, things get ugly).

{h/t Heeb]

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