Why I detest Thanksgiving — and you should, too
You should care about the crass hypocrisy of contemporary America in its embrace of the secular myth of Thanksgiving
Curmudgeon
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Opinion Why I hate this Presidents Day — and all others
Presidents’ Day is just plain odd
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Opinion Why I Hate Valentine’s Day Celebrations And So Should All Of You
Let me start by saying that I am pro-love. I believe we should show love. I believe I should show love to my parents and to my daughters. I believe I should love my wife and love my neighbor — even if I’m careful to show those last two in different ways (for which I…
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Culture Why I Can’t Even Bring Myself To Hate Father’s Day
If you’ve read this far you’ve probably done more to observe Father’s Day than you need to. Or you liked the photo of David Beckham who is, it has to be said, a smoking hot dad. Here are some links to help you understand my disinterest in a holiday that’s specifically designed to celebrate me…
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Food Three Whiskies For Father’s Day
It’s not too late to buy a Father’s Day gift. The liquor stores are open all day. Forget ties — he doesn’t ever wear them, forget watches — the time goes by too fast, just buy whisky so he can drink away all the tsoris you are causing him. Here’s what to buy this year…
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Opinion Why I Hate Mother’s Day, And Why All Women Should Hate It, Too
A wise man told me never to eat a meal prepared by someone who brags about washing his hands. His point was clear: You can’t trust someone who takes unusual pride in achieving a commonplace, because it suggests that for him it’s actually an extraordinary occurrence. It suggests that something that should happen every day…
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Opinion What Is The Omer And Why Should You Love It Like I Do?
First off, you should know that the Omer — or, as it’s more properly known Sefirat HaOmer, “The Counting Of The Omer” — is a calendar mechanism that takes us from matzo to cheesecake. Who doesn’t love that? But it’s not all sweetness and cheese. Over the seven weeks of the Omer we have to…
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Opinion Why I Hate Passover And Why You Should, Too, If You’re Doing It Right
I hate Passover. And I’m not alone. It’s a Holy Day as smug and stomach-hurting as Yom Kippur, but one that lasts as long as the eight oily days of Hanukkah. It’s as fraught with familial tension as a Thanksgiving turkey with one blue wing and one red wing, but, like the playoffs, you have…
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