Chanel Dubofsky

Why We Should Talk About Miscarriage and Abortion

A few months ago, a friend from college told me about her miscarriage, which happened between her first and second child. “It’s so common,” she said. “I just think people should know that.” After this friend’s disclosure, another friend told me she had had the same experience. And then another. Miscarriages are common, which was…

Coming Out of the Child-Free Closet

In February 1997, Ellen Jaffe Gill’ s essay on not wanting to have children, was published in Moment Magazine. In the piece, Jaffe Gill (then McClain) discussed how her decision not to have children did not prevent her from engaging fully in Jewish life. As a writer, she was in fact transmitting the covenant on…

How (Not) To Talk to ‘Jewish Sorority Girls’

I’m super glad that these fraternity boys at the University of Maryland wrote this letter to their brothers about how to talk to Jewish women, because otherwise, I would not have known how! Also, apparently I’ve been talking to myself and other Jewish women the wrong way this entire time. The guys’ egregious “instructions” are…

Weight Loss Key To Israeli-Palestine Relations?

Once, I went to a job interview on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in a fancy office building. On my way out, I noticed a Weight Watchers office on the same floor. I was so provoked by yet another message that people should be skinny — that if you are skinny, you are in…

The Uncomfortable Thing About Men and Kids

I don’t even remember how I came across Christopher Scanlon’s piece about the social barriers between men and children, but reading it has made me feel all kinds of angry things. In it, Scanlon describes a situation in which he sees a little girl dangling precariously from some monkey bars, but doesn’t attempt to help…

Inside Sex Education for Orthodox Couples

Should Jews Host Gender Reveal Parties?

The first thing I thought when I learned that gender reveal parties exist was, “Oh, Jews do NOT do that.” My reaction was based on the fact that every pregnant Jewish woman I have ever known has delayed announcing her pregnancy until she’s past her first trimester (at the very least). In the Jewish community,…

When Women Hate On Women

I’m not really sure how else to put this, but Janine Kovac, you are my worst nightmare. Your claim — that women who know they want kids but don’t have them yet because they feel unready are cowardly and selfish — is the most pernicious of attacks. But I suspect you’re already aware of this….