WANTED: LEADER FOR MAJOR WORLD RELIGION
Partially or fully abnegated selfhood. Personal connection with the godhead. Experience running large organizations. Pleasant manner.
Must not have history of sexually or physically abusing children, women or congregants. Must not have history of covering up other leaders’ sexual or physical abuse of children, women or congregants. May not ever have been a member of genocidal group or affiliated youth group.
Beard optional. Self-ambulation a plus.
Rewards mainly in worlds to come.
Please send cover letter and resume to firstname.lastname@example.org
Wanted: Leader for Major World Religion