Borat in Rehab, Eva Mendes’s Jew Fetish and Other Tales From the MTV Movie Awards
For one night, at least, MTV may as well have been the Jewish Television Network. Yesterday’s MTV Movie Awards had an unusually large number of young, hip celebrity Jews taking center-stage.
The show was hosted by comedian-of-the-moment Sarah Silverman, who, in typical faux-innocent fashion, mercilessly roasted Paris Hilton (conveniently in attendance). Silverman noted — to vigorous audience applause — that the hard-partying socialite was headed to jail, before lobbing an off-color barb that can’t be printed on a family blog. Of course, the camera, after each blow, cut to Paris, who did not seem pleased. For perhaps the first time ever, it was easy to feel sorry for the self-aggrandizing socialite. (Watch the video here.)
Then there was sultry British songstress Amy Winehouse, who performed her hit “Rehab.” (Winehouse, for those who don’t religiously follow celebrity news from the other side of the pond, is a newlywed. She broke many a young Jewish male heart when she announced in April that she would marry her off-and-on-again boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil. Initially, rumor had it that the Brit bad-girl wanted a traditional Jewish wedding. But last month, the pair wound up tying the knot in a quickie ceremony in Miami. And Winehouse now says, “People have been talking about me having a Jewish wedding, but I’m not interested in that, that’s bulls***|. We are just going to have a nice family party to celebrate in December.”)
Sacha Baron Cohen, accepting the “best comedic performance” award for “Borat,” offered the following explanation for why his Kazakh alter ego couldn’t attend the awards ceremony:
Unfortunately Borat can’t be here tonight. He’s been feeling the pressure of fame and has had to check himself into rehab. Last Thursday at about three in the morning, he was driving his horse and cart and crashed it into the fence of Jewtown. The police found that he was driving under the influence of fermented horse urine and found more than the legal amount of roofies in the back seat. In Kazakhstan you’re only allowed 100,000. He’s been suffering from this meltdown for awhile. He went into a hair dresser, and he asked them to shave off his mustache and pubis. And he went on a chat show recently drunk and actually made pro-Jewish remarks.
Baron Cohen also took honors for “Best Kiss” for a scene from “Talladega Nights” in which he smooched Will Ferrell. Following a brief lovers’ quarrel, the two reprised their moment together for the awards show audience.
But the highlight of the show — Jewishly speaking — was this exchange between the co-presenters of the “Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen Yet” award, Seth Rogen, the chubby star of the new hit comedy “Knocked Up,” and the beautiful Eva Mendes:
MENDES: “You know, Seth, maybe someday we could star in a best summer movie together.”
ROGEN: “I’d love to. I should just tell you I only make movies about impregnating women with my zhlubby Jew sperm.”
MENDES: “Oh my God, I love Jew sperm!”
ROGEN: “Oh, it’s the best, some of the best.”
MENDES: “It’s so cute!”
ROGEN: “It might be the best type of sperm.”
MENDES: “It’s my favorite!”
ROGEN: “Mine too.”