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Booze For Your Health

Working at the Forward Confederated News Empire I get a lot of press releases. Most are tedious beyond belief, some are worth following up and the remaining few are fascinating for the same reason that ornithopters are fascinating: They’re patently great ideas that are totally doomed.

This one that I just received fits fairly and squarely into the last category.

I wanted to introduce you to Lotus Vodka—the first vodka chock full of your daily dose of Vitamins! Lotus Vodka has some great holiday cocktails so please let me know if you are working on any upcoming holiday entertaining stories.
… Think the Vitamin Water of Vodka.

So, in honor of the imminent Shabbas, I wanted to suggest to the folks at Manischewitz and Palwin that they research a Manischewitz Mega or a Palwin Plus, including your daily Vitamin C and weekly fiber. What better way to usher in the Sabbath bride?

(This journalist has not received any goods or services from any of abovementioned companies, but has taken his vitamins and, let’s just say, doesn’t need any more fiber this week).

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