By Elissa Strauss October 7, 2010

Dumped by his girlfriend, 28-year-old struggling comedy writer Justin Halpern packed up his life in Los Angeles and returned back to San Diego to live with his parents. And it was there at home that he discovered comedy gold: his Jewish septuagenarian father. Justin began transcribing the daily musings of his father, Sam, whose sayings Justin describes as a mixture between Socrates and Lenny Bruce, for a Twitter feed. The Twitter feed, full of profanity-laden gems, quickly became a viral success. ”Before long, the Twitter account turned into a bestselling book, and now it is the basis for a new TV show”$#*! My Dad Says,” starring William Shatner as Sam.

But we think Jewish mothers are pretty funny, too. And so we at The Sisterhood are asking our readers to send in “$#*! Their Moms Say.” Send us some of the words of wisdom — precious or silly — bestowed upon you by your mothers. The subject matter can be anything, as long as the voice is theirs. You can email them to us at [email protected], or post them in the comments section below.

To get started here are a few from the Sisterhood friends and family:

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• “You can’t cook soup by proxy.”

• “The only good thing to do with other peoples hands is pick up burning coal.”

• “Take your courage in both hands.”

• “Plan five years ahead; anything more, you can’t know; anything less is too short-sighted.

• “Not until you have a ring on that finger.”

• “You know I never ask you for favors, right? Well, I need you to … (changes weekly)”

• “Bubbe didn’t escape from the camps to see you leave eggplant on your
plate.”

• “If those pants were good enough for your sister, they’re good enough for you.”

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