Stephen Colbert Hates Thanksgivukkah

By Anne Cohen October 16, 2013

With Thanksgivukkah madness on the rise, we’d be remiss if we didn’t include Stephen Colbert’s angry rant in the mix.

Stephen Colbert loves Thanksgiving. So it’s no wonder he gets mad when “American sacred day of family, and hearing Nana’s unvarnished opinion of Filipinos, is in danger.”

Why is his glorious holiday in such peril? In an unlikely turn of events (which will only happen again 70,000 years from now), the first day of Hannukah coincides with Thanksgiving. The horror! Children could start believing that “Thanksgiving started when the Wampanoag sat down with the Maccabees and the yams lasted for eight nights,” he laments.

“How dare you, Hannukah!”

Hilarity ensues.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Anne Cohen was the Forward’s deputy digital media editor. When she’s not looking for the secret Jewish history of Voodoo in New Orleans, or making lists about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she writes for The Assimilator. She graduated from the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism with an M.S. magazine concentration in 2012.

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda

At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse..

Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.

— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO