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The Schmooze

Sorry, This Sarah Jessica Parker-Led Shoe Tour Is Already Sold Out

Picture this: it’s a beautiful day in the greatest city on Earth. The subway system is running perfectly and you are right on time to meet your future best friend/basically a sister, Sarah Jessica Parker. She is also on time – albeit, that’s thanks to her golden limousine and personal driver who she pays extra to run red lights. Are you ready for this girlfriend, she asks but she already knows that, yes, you are ready for this. You’ve been ready for this since the night you were conceived, after your mom and dad watched a particularly graphic episode of “Sex and the City” in which Carrie and Big consummate their inevitable and illicit reunion following his marriage to that strumpet Natasha.

You and SJP spend the afternoon romping joyfully through the aisles of Bloomingdales. She tells you all about her new shoe line and you tell her about the new guy you’re seeing. Touched by your willingness to open up and share your life with her, she tells you that she’s been struggling lately in her relationship with Matthew Broderick. You say something so wise, so poignant, so astute that her relationship issues are immediately resolved — you’ve just single-handedly saved Hollywood’s most important Jewish couple.

After a couple of hours of shoe shopping (“Why does everything look amazing on you?” Sarah Jessica Parker asks enviously) followed by a trip to the best frozen yogurt shop in all of Manhattan (“Let’s be bad,” says Sarah Jessica Parker with a mischievous look in her eyes as she orders both whipped cream and hot fudge to top off her fruit-based dairy treat), Sarah Jessica Parker drops you off for a performance at the New York City Ballet. You turn to go, sad to leave but happy because it happened, when she stops you.

“Here,” she says, holding out a pair of gorgeous, diamond-studded stilettos in your size. “Take them.”

“I couldn’t,” you say, even as every bone in your body is telling you to grab them and run.

“No, seriously, take them,” she repeats. “They come with the $400 you spent on this experience.”

It’s the stuff of dreams and, for four people, it’s a dream that will soon come true. Unfortunately, not for you.

The Sole Of the City tour, Sarah Jessica Parker’s collaboration with AirBnb, has already sold out to four lucky dreamers with $400 to spare. Those with tickets will get to spend the afternoon with Sarah Jessica Parker shopping at Bloomingdale’s, learning about her shoe line, snacking on her favorite icy treat at frozen yogurt joint Forty Carrots, and finishing up at the New York City Ballet, to which all proceeds will go.

Congratulations to everyone with tickets. To the rest of you, try to enjoy your average life. After all, you only get one.

Becky Scott is the editor of The Schmooze. Follow her on Twitter, @arr_scott




    50th meeting of the Yiddish Open Mic Cafe

    Hybrid event in London and online.

    Aug 14, 2022

    1:30 pm ET · 

    Join audiences and participants from across the globe for this live celebration of Yiddish songs, poems, jokes, stories, games, serious and funny - all performed in Yiddish with English translation.

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