Mark Zuckerberg Only Worth A Pathetic $69 Billion Now

Mark Zuckerberg, receiving the news that he is now a pauper. Image by Getty Images

By Jenny Singer July 26, 2018

Like a Holocaust-denier plunging confusedly through a thicket of historical evidence, Mark Zuckerberg’s worth has plunged precariously.

Zuckerberg, who has been in hot water since purporting in an interview that most Holocaust deniers are just confused and since the news leaked that Facebook’s profit from the Trump Campaign’s social media advertising is much greater than previously believed, dropped in personal value today as Facebook stock sinks. The social media site dropped 20% in value on Wednesday, resulting in a $17.6 billion loss for Zuckerberg alone.

Really puts that extra latte you bought into perspective, doesn’t it?

Poor Zuckerberg is now not only uneducated (he is sans a college degree,) but the poor slob is also, at a measly $68.9 billion, officially worth less than Warren Buffett. How will he feed his children, one wonders. But the sun’ll come out tomorrow. Or it won’t, if the conspiracy theorists and hack scientists are right. After all — as long as it doesn’t directly incite violence, fake news deserves a voice on Facebook.

Jenny Singer is the deputy lifestyle editor for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

Jenny Singer is a freelance writer with pieces in Vox, the Washington Post, The San Francisco Chronicle, Teen Vogue, and more. She was previously a staff writer at Glamour and the Forward, and she’s currently getting an MFA in nonfiction writing at the University of Iowa.

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