The Definitive Ranking Of Coats in “Mrs. Maisel” Season Three
Rachel Brosnahan as Maisel, left, with Alex Borstein, as manager Susie. Image by epk
By Irene Katz Connelly December 17, 2019
“Nobody really dressed like that,” says my father, a person who was sentient in the 1950s, about “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”
“Is that supposed to be a bathrobe or something?” he says of Rose’s splendid housecoats.
“The word nerd didn’t exist back then. Who wrote this show?”
Jewish tradition teaches the importance of bearing witness to history. The voice of memory, transmitted through our elders, is so precious. But did I heed it? Obviously not — instead I spent the weekend fast-forwarding through Abe’s self-pitying monologues (is it just me, or do they multiply by the season?) to coo over Midge’s coats.
America’s favorite housewife has finally returned to Amazon Prime, setting off across the country as the opening act for singer Shy Baldwin. While she chooses to take the stage in a series of black dresses so surprisingly demure you could actually imagine a real person wearing them, her offstage outfits are as swoonworthy as ever, and you’d better bet her suitcases are stuffed with choice outerwear. In the spirit of indulgent-if-not-accurate TV, here’s a roundup of the best coats in season 3.
Episode 1: Sophie’s Evil-Stepmother cloak
Sophie Lennon takes Susie’s apartment by storm. Image by Amazon
Today, this is the kind of thing we’d wear to the Oscars, but for Sophie it’s just something to throw on before [heading down to ambush Susie in her own apartment]. It’s the perfect garment for when you have to venture below 14th Street, but you want everyone to know you’re slumming it.
Episode 2: Rose’s Tweedy Cape
Rose on her way to face her family. Image by Amazon
If we were driving to Oklahoma to ask our brothers for a bigger share of the trust fund, we’d wear this too.
Episode 3 Midge’s Fit-For-Royalty Suit
Midge watches Shy and the band rehearse. Image by Amazon
The first two episodes elapsed without any noteworthy outerwear from Midge, but this ensemble more than makes up for it. She looks like a girlier version of Kate Middleton, ready to watch a bunch of soldiers parade around until one faints in the heat.
Episode 4: Rose’s Queenly Housecoat
Abe and Rose need a new apartment, stat. Image by Amazon
I’ll know I’ve peaked in life if I ever look this composed less than two hours after waking up.
Episode 5: Midge’s Beach…Garment?
Seriously, where can I get one of these? Image by Amazon
When Midge swings through Florida on tour, she replaces coats with this unclassifiable item, which from various angles looks like a romper, a cloak, and a special-occasion dress for a very large baby. Whatever it is, I wish it was still standard attire in Miami Beach.
Episode 6: Midge’s Boating Outfit
Midge on a boating jaunt with Shy. Image by Amazon
Yes, you astute reader, this is also not a coat. It’s a boating outfit that looks like it belongs to your aunt who only shops at Talbots, but it’s also kind of amazing. Midge must be commended for possessing so many outfits that can be used for one occasion and one occasion only. One can only imagine what she would think of the capsule wardrobe.
Episode 7: Midge’s Lime-Green Duster
In Episode 7, it’s back to the daily grind. Image by Amazon
In the season’s penultimate episode, Midge accidentally records an advertising spot for rising conservative star Phyllis Schlafly, replete with anti-Semitic dog-whistles. But at least she’s pulling off a statement color while she does it.
Episode 8: Midge’s Short-Sleeved Overcoat
I don’t understand how this looks good, but it does. Image by Amazon
It is a truth universally acknowledged that short-sleeved coats are among the least practical garments known to women. Also, if there’s anything I learned in middle school, it’s that you should never mix and match secondary colors. In the abstract, this outfit is a monstrosity, but Midge makes me want to order a walking ensemble of my own. And Imogene gets a runner-up for her gutsy jewel tones.
BONUS COAT: Midge’s Opera Attire
Because what else are you going to wear to storm the Apollo? Image by Amazon
It’s the last episode, so you know the coats are coming fast and furious. This red and pink cloak is the kind of thing you always think you could find at the thrift store — but never, ever, do.
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