Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
The Schmooze

Everything bagel-flavored ice cream now exists and we don’t know what to think

This morning, I ate an everything bagel that was exactly what an everything bagel should be. Slathered in cream cheese. Garnished with a judicious sprinkle of caraway seeds. Slightly crispy from the freezer. (Is it even an everything bagel if you didn’t buy it in bulk?)

Most importantly, not a dessert.

Unfortunately, many Americans will forfeit this crucial aspect of the experience with the advent of the creatively-titled “Everything Bagel,” a new flavor from artisan ice cream manufacturer Jeni’s.

In a Twitter post that incorporated the dubious pun “It’s Schmear,” the company revealed that the concoction consists of a cream cheese ice cream base laden with buttery streusel, sesame and poppy seeds and (here’s where it gets hard to swallow, literally) garlic and onions.

The release of “Everything Bagel” is a step in the novelty direction for Jeni’s, a brand historically known for pioneering fastidious flavors like “Brambleberry Crisp” and puncturing Nancy Pelosi’s attempts at relatability. After about three seconds of imagining what onions submerged in cream-cheese flavored ice cream might taste like, I was ready to write a 30,000-word feature arguing that Jeni’s has blighted a treasured tradition of the Jewish people. However, numerous fellow staffers contended that they “would eat this ice cream” and that Jeni’s is “actually pretty good.”

Bowing to the wisdom of my colleagues even though one of them confessed to eating Cheetos-flavored ice cream, I desisted from my labors, navigated the labyrinth that is the Jeni’s website, and procured a pint of “Everything Bagel” for objective and scientific evaluation. Stay tuned for the full review — and if you try it, please email me immediately.

Irene Katz Connelly is a staff writer at the Forward. You can contact her at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter at @katz_conn.

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse..

Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.