Don’t put Lena Dunham on the cover of a magazine offering up “20 Slimdown Diet Tips Stars Are Using” unless you want her to unleash A+ trolling game on you.
The “Girls” creator took to Instagram to call out Us Weekly for including her on their weight loss cover, by giving an actual rundown of how she lost weight. Examples included: “anxiety disorder,” “marching your ass off,” “worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t,” and “constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future.”
Plus, Dunham added, she never gives out weight loss tips because it goes against everything she stands for.
“It’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx,” she concluded.
20 slimdown diet tips! 1. anxiety disorder * 2. resultant constant nausea 3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny 4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future 5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus * 6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail 7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains 8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this) 9. marching your ass off 10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge 11. sleeping 19 hours a day 12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut 13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t 14. realizing who ya real friends are 15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved) 16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency * 17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com 18. keeping your back arched against the wind 19. um, who the fuck cares? 20. I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition