Picturing Love and Intermarriage in New York

Photographer Delves Into Everyday Lives of Mixed Couples

West Side Story A photograph in Yael Ben-Zion’s exhibit is accompanied by this quote from Ilana (far right): “When Jeff told them he wanted to marry me, they did not support it and expressed concern that they would have Jewish grandchildren. Unlike my mother and sister, they did attend our wedding.”
Yael Ben-Zion (detail)
West Side Story A photograph in Yael Ben-Zion’s exhibit is accompanied by this quote from Ilana (far right): “When Jeff told them he wanted to marry me, they did not support it and expressed concern that they would have Jewish grandchildren. Unlike my mother and sister, they did attend our wedding.”

By Anna Goldenberg

Published January 21, 2014, issue of January 24, 2014.
  • Print
  • Share Share
  • Single Page

In September 2009, an Israeli TV and internet campaign aimed at dissuading Jews from marrying non-Jews upset many in the Diaspora – including Yael Ben-Zion, an American-born photographer, who lives together with her French, non-Jewish husband in New York City.

So Ben-Zion, 40, who grew up in Israel, posted an ad at an online parenting board in her neighborhood, Washington Heights, and asked for couples, who defined themselves as intermarried, to participate in what has become her latest project, “Intermarried.” The photographs of 20 couples, their homes and their families provide an intimate look into the daily lives of people who have married outside their faith or race. They consist of a combination of still lives with details, such as a bible in the bathroom, and photos of the families in everyday life situations, like hugging, dressing children or breastfeeding.

Five of the couples including Ben-Zion’s had one Jewish partner. Among the others are Baha’I, Buddhist and interracial partners. “I wasn’t interested in creating a statistical survey,” she said. “I was more interested to deal with the challenges.”

The Little Prince “Obviously our mother tongues are different but it goes deeper than this. Our basic cultural backgrounds are different.” (Ugo)
Yael Ben-Zion (detail)
The Little Prince “Obviously our mother tongues are different but it goes deeper than this. Our basic cultural backgrounds are different.” (Ugo)

After an informal conversation with the couples, she started to photograph them in their homes. Some of the images are still lives, things that caught her attention, like an altar that displayed a statuette of the Hindu God Ganesha and a crucifix. The shots that show people are modeled after experiences told to Ben-Zion, such as one partner’s baptism in the bathtub. Finally, Ben-Zion asked the participants to fill out a questionnaire, excerpts of which are included in the book and exhibition, on the wall next to the photo.

They complete the photos — without diverting the viewer’s attention — by adding moving insights into the daily lives of intermarried couples. Some talk about disheartening experiences of being shunned by their families or facing discrimination and lack of understanding. Some tell the stories of how they met, fell in love and overcame their cultural differences.

Murphy bed “To make any relationship work, you have to figure out how to make all your differences work well together and race, to me, is just one small part of that whole puzzle.” (Daria)
Yael Ben-Zion (detail)
Murphy bed “To make any relationship work, you have to figure out how to make all your differences work well together and race, to me, is just one small part of that whole puzzle.” (Daria)

The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • "I’ve never bought illegal drugs, but I imagine a small-time drug deal to feel a bit like buying hummus underground in Brooklyn."
  • We try to show things that get less exposed to the public here. We don’t look to document things that are nice or that people would like. We don’t try to show this place as a beautiful place.”
  • A new Gallup poll shows that only 25% of Americans under 35 support the war in #Gaza. Does this statistic worry you?
  • “You will stomp us into the dirt,” is how her mother responded to Anya Ulinich’s new tragicomic graphic novel. Paul Berger has a more open view of ‘Lena Finkle’s Magic Barrel." What do you think?
  • PHOTOS: Hundreds of protesters marched through lower Manhattan yesterday demanding an end to American support for Israel’s operation in #Gaza.
  • Does #Hamas have to lose for there to be peace? Read the latest analysis by J.J. Goldberg.
  • This is what the rockets over Israel and Gaza look like from space:
  • "Israel should not let captives languish or corpses rot. It should do everything in its power to recover people and bodies. Jewish law places a premium on pidyon shvuyim, “the redemption of captives,” and proper burial. But not when the price will lead to more death and more kidnappings." Do you agree?
  • Slate.com's Allison Benedikt wrote that Taglit-Birthright Israel is partly to blame for the death of American IDF volunteer Max Steinberg. This is why she's wrong:
  • Israeli soldiers want you to buy them socks. And snacks. And backpacks. And underwear. And pizza. So claim dozens of fundraising campaigns launched by American Jewish and Israeli charities since the start of the current wave of crisis and conflict in Israel and Gaza.
  • The sign reads: “Dogs are allowed in this establishment but Zionists are not under any circumstances.”
  • Is Twitter Israel's new worst enemy?
  • More than 50 former Israeli soldiers have refused to serve in the current ground operation in #Gaza.
  • "My wife and I are both half-Jewish. Both of us very much felt and feel American first and Jewish second. We are currently debating whether we should send our daughter to a Jewish pre-K and kindergarten program or to a public one. Pros? Give her a Jewish community and identity that she could build on throughout her life. Cons? Costs a lot of money; She will enter school with the idea that being Jewish makes her different somehow instead of something that you do after or in addition to regular school. Maybe a Shabbat sing-along would be enough?"
  • Undeterred by the conflict, 24 Jews participated in the first ever Jewish National Fund— JDate singles trip to Israel. Translation: Jews age 30 to 45 travelled to Israel to get it on in the sun, with a side of hummus.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.