I never again had that feeling of total integration of conscience and body as at the moment it dawned on me I was pregnant. It was eerie: I found myself standing in front of the window of a very upscale baby shop, with my head turned, observing a man holding his child up in the air.

“I am pregnant!” And I immediately knew that I would not have this baby. It was a matter-of-fact decision, and I did not struggle with it.

This happened in Brazil in the late 70s, in a country where abortion is illegal to this day, a country where politicians are considering making it even more difficult for a woman to have an abortion. Thousands of women die because they are too poor to afford the clinics where the other women go. What hypocrisy.

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My best friend went with me. Another friend had recommended a decent clinic, and the procedure performed by a real doctor who was actually very caring.

This is the one decision in my life I have never regretted. My child would not have had a happy upbringing, and I did not have the right to cause unhappiness to another human being. I never felt any guilt.

I didn’t have the urge to become a mother ever, and today I feel great relief that I’m leaving no descendants behind.

— Ana, 58, Brazil

Silent No More

— Readers’ Abortion Stories

• Mah Ramsey Got Arrested – by Kathleen Peratis, 71, New York

• I Was Almost Aborted Before the Holocaust; I Survived – by Alfred, 75, District of Columbia

• Forming a Spiritual Being – by Stosh Cotler, 48, New York

• Saving Lives at the University of Florida – by Michael, 73, New Jersey

• Not Worth a Gamble — by Carol, 71, Arizona

• Double Jeopardy for One Teenager — by Karen, 56, Georgia

• A Law Student’s Brutal Dilemma – by Victoria, 64, New York

• A Masked Man at a Farm Near Baltimore, Then a Happy Ending With Boxer Shorts – by Rosalyn, 70, Maryland

• In Brazil, Abortion Is Still Illegal – by Ana, 58, Brazil

• In a Back Alley of Tijuana – by Nancy, 75, Israel

• From Generation to Generation – by Claire, 65, California

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