Priscilla Chan, the Harvard-educated pediatrician who has donated billions to philanthropic causes, is leaving her husband Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and CEO of Facebook, for a man who can truly fulfill her “intellectually and physically.” That man is Jeremy Rosenbaum, the CEO of The Onion.
In the technical sense this is “fake news.” But in the realistic sense, this is what happens if you anger the world’s foremost comedy news site.
Infuriated by a Facebook algorithm change that has resulted in substantially less traffic for all news sites (including yours truly,) The Onion has taken matters into its own keyboards, penning dozens of hit pieces on Zuckerberg.
It’s a thrilling attack, if you like to see a humor website run by Jews take on a multi-billion dollar company run by Jews (this is the Schmooze’s exact sexual fantasy.)
The editor-in-chief of The Onion, Chad Nackers (our love for him only grows,) told Business Insider that Facebook is an “unwanted interloper” that separates its users from the content they want, and in doing so, “betrayed the trust of billions of people.” In defiance of the new Facebook policy The Onion has launched an assault of dozens of anti-Zuck articles over the last week.
Here are a few of our favorites:
‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access https://t.co/jK8iOzKaCR pic.twitter.com/98oeE0M8sH— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 15, 2018
Facebook: ‘We Will Make Our Product Worse, You Will Be Upset, And Then You Will Live With It’ https://t.co/3mjAsKxEKl pic.twitter.com/ou0ZIN1y8H— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 18, 2018
“Come on, Daddy. The whole thing is so completely obvious. All you and your website do is hurt people.” https://t.co/wgu72Xf9ht pic.twitter.com/YFieJSgXQT— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 15, 2018
Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings https://t.co/PN01rXdVzE pic.twitter.com/SVJhtmVxHa— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 18, 2018
New Facebook Notifications Alert Users When They Not Currently Looking At Facebook https://t.co/bJQj5GSQv1 pic.twitter.com/s0azcJn8ol— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 17, 2018
Researchers Find Decline In Facebook Use Could Be Directly Linked To Desire To Be Happy, Fully Functioning Person https://t.co/NXHmZKhxJF pic.twitter.com/IMBqEw2pA4— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 16, 2018
Jenny Singer is the deputy Lifestyle editor for the Forward. You can reach her at Singer@forward.com or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny